They moved from Texas to Lake Windsor Downs in Tangerine County, Florida. Tangerine by Edward Bloor is a novel about the Fisherman family and their sons, Erik and Paul. By the end of this story I wished Erik would give me the good old orange dream machine special so I'd never have to read anything as dogshit as this again.

He says he lost his vision because he looked at a solar eclipse but HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS turns out Erik merced him with the Tangerine spray paint and almost blinded him. Speaking of Paul, I gotta talk about this boy. The only use I'd have for this goddamn garbage is pitching it in the fire at the back of Paul's house where it can burn forever and scar the earth with its horrendously putrid scent. Florida in this story is like a whack ass Texas with more rain and that's not true at all, so on behalf of the the State of Florida, I say fuck you, buddy. It felt like a really bad modern take on Hamlet (I've never read Hamlet) just with lightning strikes wasting fools left and right like it's the Old Testament up in this bitch.

The author evidently tried to write a adult drama about kids friggin bludgeoning each other to death but failed so he called it a kids' book and sold it as it was. Reading this book was like eating chicken shit infected with avian flu, with the writing being the chicken shit and the story being the avian flu. Hell, if I could give it two middle fingers I would. This piece of shit is an absolute and utter perversion of the English language. A great self-reflection in what it means to be growing, to be be giving, a piece of fine citrus upon the tongue. You're ahead of me all of a sudden.' But I couldn't slow down. until Phoebe had to rip it from my cold dead hands. But this 7th grader is far from boring, he has a spine, a heart, and pair of glasses about an inch thick that become a lynchpin to a much darker deeper secret that had me turning the pages. So I dug in and was immediately swept up in this story about a 7th grader who moves from the boring suburbs of Houston to a strangely overdeveloped region in Florida - another suburb once proudly occupied by tangerine groves, the best in the world.

I can't believe you want to read it too.' Which is something I'm trying to do: read all the books my two daughters are reading, which is surprisingly easy since kids these days don't do much reading it appears at all in school. She's in 7th grade up here in Washington State and she brought it home and laid it down with a big thud and a groan and 'Here it is, Dad. What can I tell you except my daughter Phoebe is reading this.

Tangerine edward bloor audiobook